♥ #25 I guess ?

 

What say you ?  

of all people , i should not be the one commenting . 

but i do believe this is as close to the truth as can get .

well , i dont know . 

♥ #24

the only people who can hurt you
are those whom you willingly allowed access into your life .

and sometimes , you cannot choose who to believe in . because they all end up letting you down . all of them .

but i guess we all live to believe . and trust itself does not come for free - it has to be earned . but how much exactly is trust worth ? i guess coming from different people , it holds different values, but what i do know for a fact is that my worst tendency would be to give it out for cheap all the time . i trust people so easily , i should not even be the least bit surprised from getting stung .

i am just a little girl desperate for something to believe in .

but what hurts me most is not that you do not see the same in me . that has never been an issue for me to contempt with , but rather , the fact that you , of all people ,  would actually think so much lesser of me when others dont , is what's most disappointing . appalled by the honesty, but it's always good to know what i mean to you . good to know than to not .

thank you for teaching me life's greatest lesson .
couldnt possibly owe it to you more .

x .

♥ #23 Christmas Eve

How was your Christmas ?

Christmas Eve at TGIF (: ~ 

the girl on the left is Hassel ! she's such a sweet girl ! glad that we met ! heard alot about her from Ysheng and Jay before this . she's very friendly and i like her ~ (:

andddd can you spoot that little marlboro lighter on the table ? yeap , my christmas present to Ysheng , along with the shirt he was wearing . stupid lighter spoilt on the first day ! total waste of money. it was cute though .

 

Seline with her NEW SHORT HAIR OHMAIGOD

 

we were all so shocked with her hair ! yeah , that 160 bucks haircut that didnt turn out the way she wished . the whole night she was whining about her hair , hahahha silly girl ! and i was telling her to get a pixie cut as a mean of 'damage control ' , but the boys disagreed . 

'but that's even MORE damage ! '

okay , so maybe they are right . i'm really not used to Seline with short , cropped hair ! she used to have like , almost waist lengthh hair , so you can only imagine how drastic the change was . but a change is good once in a while i guess . refreshing (: 

anyway , i hope you readers are enjoying the festive season with your friends and family . there is nothing more i love than christmas and new year . it's just such a jolly time of the year . and it's extremely sad that Jay is literally halfway across the world from me . how i wish he is here to spend christmas and new year with me . this were to be our first christmas and new year together . what a pity . :( 

i shall end this with a picture of myself .  till the next post ! ~ (:

 

HEHEHEHE 

gooooooodnight ! 

 ♥

will try to blog again asap . i have many , many impending post , btw . somehow , i just always fail to complete them and they sit obediently in my Drafts section until i actually do something about it  . -_-

x .

♥ #22 Hamtarooooooo

hey hey hey ~ ♥

HAHAHAHA stupid .

click to read more (: 
disclaimer : another bimbotic , pointless , picture laden post . mostly my face wtf .

♥ #21 Oh Yumz .

i was telling the boy i am hungry , and this was what he drew for me HAHAH .

you wont wanna see the pork burger and 'fillet o' fish ' . hahahaha , my stupid boyyy . 

♥ ~

 

♥ #20 Coming up next !

 

Wait for it !  ♥

WTF IS THIS ?!!!

I OPEN MY BLOGGER , CLICK ON NEW POST , AND THIS PICTURE IS ALREADY HERE ?

wtf , creepy . @@

hahahahaha and of all things , it's a burger . oooohhhhh ~ -_-

♥ #19 My Little Camera

sadly , my little green Album T ended up being one of those toys i stopped playing with after a while . another one eats the dust . i was very keen with photography but that was then .  and then one day i just lost most - if not all - interest in photography  .it was sudden , but people change . the greatest impact in my life at that time was writing , and photography came a close second .  thinking back , i gave up many , many things . not just photography .

it used to follow me around . almost everywhere i go , in fact .  i liked having a camera in my bag . that way , i could just whip it out whenever i want and take pictures, wherever i was . i loved capturing random pictures of total strangers and then go home to review what i've got for the day . it was interesting . (:

strangely , just two days ago i thought of bringing it out with me again . not exactly the best camera one could wish for , but i guess it is cute and still in a perfect condition despite the neglect . i was pleasantly surprised that it was fully functional ! i guess i kinda expected gadgets to just...die a natural death alongside neglect .  

 

went out with the old friends on thursday . it's great to hang out with people you've long since grown apart from . it's nothing much , just that we dont really move around in the same crowd anymore , and especially so now that we're in different streams and all , it's even harder to bridge the gap . it's unfortunate , because all of us used to be classmates , and very close knitted ones at that . well , at least that was the case until i decided that i would be better off doing accounting instead of science . i guess drifting apart is a part of growing up . you cannot stay in your comfort zone all the time and expect the same from the whole world . and lets just say , along the way we meet more new people , and sometimes these 'new people ' end up playing a big part in your life . it is a good thing . 

anyway , it was really great that we had lunch , watched a movie , spent some quality time together . because god knows what i do when im out with the usual few these days . trust me , we do nothing like that (except for the eating part , haha ) . i almost forgot what it feels like to be an ordinary 16 year old , what it feels like to step into a cinema . it was a great day out , healthy fun and all . glad that the few of us made the effort to come since i wasnt able to make it the last few times they asked . really , really sorry ! i look forward to more outings like this . just feel that it'd be awesome if do hang out once in a while . :D

Putri . I think she looks lovelyyy in these pictures (:

 since we had plenty of time to kill until our movie started , we decided to go for a round of pool at Rainforest . there was really nothing else to do there ! but boy was i disappointed to discover that the 'pool' was nothing like pool . nothing remotely close at all . in fact , that was a miniature snooker table with plastic rods for cue. and they charged us 5 bucks per game ! ridiculously priced for child play , imo . -_-

and then we watched Tron . quite a pointless movie imo . another one of those movies that wows the audience with graphic effects rather than substance . it was enjoyable , the bright motorcycle lights and the handsome actor , but that aside , it lacked a solid storyline and so a movie like that did not do the trick on me . but i am pretty sure it's something the boys will love . i just prefer something heavier .

haha & i didnt get why is the movie called Tron though...

Hilman (:

I really like this picture ! Idk why hahaha .

Hilman and i .

me goofing around with the camera .

and then the usual gang came . hahahahaha we are just here there everywhere!

random shot

i love this picture . we both look so fierce hahahahah .

Ysheng and i again ! 

anyway , it's late already ! its already 4 . i think i'll go to sleep now . more pictures coming tomorrow ! 

goooooodnight teeheeeee . 

x .♥

p/s : im sorry but im really tired now so i'll proofread this tomorrow . sorry for the horrific grammar . i tend to make a lot of grammatical errors when im tired or when i write in a rush . it's like my brain just shuts down wtf .i just cant be arsed to change it now hahahaha .

♥ #18 A Little Girl Named Melissa

i am just saying  .
i once knew a girl named Melissa when i was six , and i can still remember
her face up till today . like , really remember .

the guilt of a child still follows me around .

no , i didnt kill her HAHA .

i wish i actually remembered her last name .

dreamyyyyyyy

:3

♥

andddd i think im making this my facebook profile picture .

im really really bored . and VERY extremely tired . has been running around since last night and was only home at like three plus ? almost four . and then i slept for two hours before waking up , taking a shower and rushing off again . stayed in the hospital for the whole day . 

i really need sleep . theres TWO huge zits on my face !! NOHHHH this cannot be , this cannot be . -.-

goodnight .

♥ ♥ ♥

this is all you ever say

' i'm sorry . ' 

thats all you fucking say . everytime .

and just like that , you know you've won . i wont leave .

and i can wake up at 5 to check for a message from you . anything at all .

what a fool i am .

i would've done anything for you , and indeed , i've already done everything i could . but it cant always be me . the blame cannot possibly always be me , right ?

you think im just throwing a tantrum , and this is always where our problem lies . how the fuck did i grow so clingy and dependent on someone , this i dont know . it goes beyond that . i swore this kinda cliche shit would never happen . but ha ha ha ha ha never say never .   

i think i know now .

you dont want this anymore . yeah , alright .

either way , so what ? with or without you , i wont die .

if you dont need me , then i dont need you . simple as that .

i am not going to allow anything to pull me down again .

i give up .

but you could not have been more insensitive , could you ?

i cannot change what i cannot change .

good job .

sometimes , i try and i fail to find the right words to describe us . truth is , it is impossible to sum up all that we are in a sentence . i would if i could , but then again , to be able to would be to belittle the bond we share . what i do know for a fact , is that we are both a little complicated , a little fucked up in the head . too much insecure , too madly possessive that the whole thing cease to be functional altogether , too accusing , too egoistic , too fucking stubborn .

but we are perhaps tangled together at the right places .

on better days , i think we make a cute couple . we say the right things , we laugh , we do stupid things together . you'll go shopping with me , all the while going on and on about how unhealthy my spending habits are . but you'll still willingly hold my bags for me , and that's what i love about you . we are the kind of couple who spends more time playing pool more than we do with movies . i still think he is really good at it , and for the only times i win , i'd attribute that to his wanting me to win to make me happy , without which i would have otherwise lost terribly . so yes , i think we make a great pair . it's just too bad that deep down , i know we are probably too much insecure to last for good . things could have been perfect . 

do you remember that first time we met ? it's uncanny , how far we've went from there . i was surprised that you are actually much taller in person . not that i've met you before , haha , but i'm just saying . i thought you were a little quiet to the point that you came off as a little cocky . but i would soon change my mind . you were just too shy around people you weren't close with while i on the other hand was a little too pushy with my enthusiastic hellos , almost like i was vying to win an award for 'Pimping a Friendship in 30 Seconds!' or something .

thinking back , it was funny , but what's even funnier would be that right now , i've never felt more disappointed with us . 

and then there was also that time in the taxi . fast forward two months , and we were already linking hands . do you remember how we had this talk about how lucky we are that we found each other ?  what if you never did came out that fateful Sunday ? i would never have met you , and possibly never will . you will remain to me as that ' Another Friend of X' on my msn list , and i as 'Another One of those Girls X Liked' on yours . we will never talk , never know each other , never be holding hands .      

the two of us make up one funny story , dont you think ?  maybe it is true that we are two very broken pieces of puzzle that are never meant to fit together . but we did . maybe not a perfect fit but i suppose it isnt half bad. we forced ourselves to fit anyway , and now we forced ourselves into heartbreak .  maybe you dont even care for much anymore . as i said , i wouldnt know . i have never been good at reading your mind . i thought that i was , thought that of all people , it is only me who can read you like an open book . but that was also coming from a girl who does not believe or care much for the importance of love , as long as the affection is still there . as long as we still have each other.  how was i so fucking stupid , i wonder . how can it be that time and time again , you can deceive yourself into thinking that you know someone best , know them inside and out ,  know them right down to the core , when in truth ...maybe you actually dont really know them at all ?

and crazily enough , i am beginning to feel that i would rather be stuck in this state than to ever leave . but what i feel is not important , no , of course it isnt . i promised you we would last for as long as you wish , remember? what is important , though , would be what i am capable of doing to myself , to us . watch me .

-