♥ #25 I guess ?

 

What say you ?  

of all people , i should not be the one commenting . 

but i do believe this is as close to the truth as can get .

well , i dont know . 

♥ #24

the only people who can hurt you
are those whom you willingly allowed access into your life .

and sometimes , you cannot choose who to believe in . because they all end up letting you down . all of them .

but i guess we all live to believe . and trust itself does not come for free - it has to be earned . but how much exactly is trust worth ? i guess coming from different people , it holds different values, but what i do know for a fact is that my worst tendency would be to give it out for cheap all the time . i trust people so easily , i should not even be the least bit surprised from getting stung .

i am just a little girl desperate for something to believe in .

but what hurts me most is not that you do not see the same in me . that has never been an issue for me to contempt with , but rather , the fact that you , of all people ,  would actually think so much lesser of me when others dont , is what's most disappointing . appalled by the honesty, but it's always good to know what i mean to you . good to know than to not .

thank you for teaching me life's greatest lesson .
couldnt possibly owe it to you more .

x .

♥ #23 Christmas Eve

How was your Christmas ?

Christmas Eve at TGIF (: ~ 

the girl on the left is Hassel ! she's such a sweet girl ! glad that we met ! heard alot about her from Ysheng and Jay before this . she's very friendly and i like her ~ (:

andddd can you spoot that little marlboro lighter on the table ? yeap , my christmas present to Ysheng , along with the shirt he was wearing . stupid lighter spoilt on the first day ! total waste of money. it was cute though .

 

Seline with her NEW SHORT HAIR OHMAIGOD

 

we were all so shocked with her hair ! yeah , that 160 bucks haircut that didnt turn out the way she wished . the whole night she was whining about her hair , hahahha silly girl ! and i was telling her to get a pixie cut as a mean of 'damage control ' , but the boys disagreed . 

'but that's even MORE damage ! '

okay , so maybe they are right . i'm really not used to Seline with short , cropped hair ! she used to have like , almost waist lengthh hair , so you can only imagine how drastic the change was . but a change is good once in a while i guess . refreshing (: 

anyway , i hope you readers are enjoying the festive season with your friends and family . there is nothing more i love than christmas and new year . it's just such a jolly time of the year . and it's extremely sad that Jay is literally halfway across the world from me . how i wish he is here to spend christmas and new year with me . this were to be our first christmas and new year together . what a pity . :( 

i shall end this with a picture of myself .  till the next post ! ~ (:

 

HEHEHEHE 

gooooooodnight ! 

 ♥

will try to blog again asap . i have many , many impending post , btw . somehow , i just always fail to complete them and they sit obediently in my Drafts section until i actually do something about it  . -_-

x .

♥ #22 Hamtarooooooo

hey hey hey ~ ♥

HAHAHAHA stupid .

click to read more (: 
disclaimer : another bimbotic , pointless , picture laden post . mostly my face wtf .

♥ #21 Oh Yumz .

i was telling the boy i am hungry , and this was what he drew for me HAHAH .

you wont wanna see the pork burger and 'fillet o' fish ' . hahahaha , my stupid boyyy . 

♥ ~

 

♥ #20 Coming up next !

 

Wait for it !  ♥

WTF IS THIS ?!!!

I OPEN MY BLOGGER , CLICK ON NEW POST , AND THIS PICTURE IS ALREADY HERE ?

wtf , creepy . @@

hahahahaha and of all things , it's a burger . oooohhhhh ~ -_-

♥ #19 My Little Camera

sadly , my little green Album T ended up being one of those toys i stopped playing with after a while . another one eats the dust . i was very keen with photography but that was then .  and then one day i just lost most - if not all - interest in photography  .it was sudden , but people change . the greatest impact in my life at that time was writing , and photography came a close second .  thinking back , i gave up many , many things . not just photography .

it used to follow me around . almost everywhere i go , in fact .  i liked having a camera in my bag . that way , i could just whip it out whenever i want and take pictures, wherever i was . i loved capturing random pictures of total strangers and then go home to review what i've got for the day . it was interesting . (:

strangely , just two days ago i thought of bringing it out with me again . not exactly the best camera one could wish for , but i guess it is cute and still in a perfect condition despite the neglect . i was pleasantly surprised that it was fully functional ! i guess i kinda expected gadgets to just...die a natural death alongside neglect .  

 

went out with the old friends on thursday . it's great to hang out with people you've long since grown apart from . it's nothing much , just that we dont really move around in the same crowd anymore , and especially so now that we're in different streams and all , it's even harder to bridge the gap . it's unfortunate , because all of us used to be classmates , and very close knitted ones at that . well , at least that was the case until i decided that i would be better off doing accounting instead of science . i guess drifting apart is a part of growing up . you cannot stay in your comfort zone all the time and expect the same from the whole world . and lets just say , along the way we meet more new people , and sometimes these 'new people ' end up playing a big part in your life . it is a good thing . 

anyway , it was really great that we had lunch , watched a movie , spent some quality time together . because god knows what i do when im out with the usual few these days . trust me , we do nothing like that (except for the eating part , haha ) . i almost forgot what it feels like to be an ordinary 16 year old , what it feels like to step into a cinema . it was a great day out , healthy fun and all . glad that the few of us made the effort to come since i wasnt able to make it the last few times they asked . really , really sorry ! i look forward to more outings like this . just feel that it'd be awesome if do hang out once in a while . :D

Putri . I think she looks lovelyyy in these pictures (:

 since we had plenty of time to kill until our movie started , we decided to go for a round of pool at Rainforest . there was really nothing else to do there ! but boy was i disappointed to discover that the 'pool' was nothing like pool . nothing remotely close at all . in fact , that was a miniature snooker table with plastic rods for cue. and they charged us 5 bucks per game ! ridiculously priced for child play , imo . -_-

and then we watched Tron . quite a pointless movie imo . another one of those movies that wows the audience with graphic effects rather than substance . it was enjoyable , the bright motorcycle lights and the handsome actor , but that aside , it lacked a solid storyline and so a movie like that did not do the trick on me . but i am pretty sure it's something the boys will love . i just prefer something heavier .

haha & i didnt get why is the movie called Tron though...

Hilman (:

I really like this picture ! Idk why hahaha .

Hilman and i .

me goofing around with the camera .

and then the usual gang came . hahahahaha we are just here there everywhere!

random shot

i love this picture . we both look so fierce hahahahah .

Ysheng and i again ! 

anyway , it's late already ! its already 4 . i think i'll go to sleep now . more pictures coming tomorrow ! 

goooooodnight teeheeeee . 

x .♥

p/s : im sorry but im really tired now so i'll proofread this tomorrow . sorry for the horrific grammar . i tend to make a lot of grammatical errors when im tired or when i write in a rush . it's like my brain just shuts down wtf .i just cant be arsed to change it now hahahaha .

♥ #18 A Little Girl Named Melissa

i am just saying  .
i once knew a girl named Melissa when i was six , and i can still remember
her face up till today . like , really remember .

the guilt of a child still follows me around .

no , i didnt kill her HAHA .

i wish i actually remembered her last name .

dreamyyyyyyy

:3

♥

andddd i think im making this my facebook profile picture .

im really really bored . and VERY extremely tired . has been running around since last night and was only home at like three plus ? almost four . and then i slept for two hours before waking up , taking a shower and rushing off again . stayed in the hospital for the whole day . 

i really need sleep . theres TWO huge zits on my face !! NOHHHH this cannot be , this cannot be . -.-

goodnight .

♥ ♥ ♥

this is all you ever say

' i'm sorry . ' 

thats all you fucking say . everytime .

and just like that , you know you've won . i wont leave .

and i can wake up at 5 to check for a message from you . anything at all .

what a fool i am .

i would've done anything for you , and indeed , i've already done everything i could . but it cant always be me . the blame cannot possibly always be me , right ?

you think im just throwing a tantrum , and this is always where our problem lies . how the fuck did i grow so clingy and dependent on someone , this i dont know . it goes beyond that . i swore this kinda cliche shit would never happen . but ha ha ha ha ha never say never .   

i think i know now .

you dont want this anymore . yeah , alright .

either way , so what ? with or without you , i wont die .

if you dont need me , then i dont need you . simple as that .

i am not going to allow anything to pull me down again .

i give up .

but you could not have been more insensitive , could you ?

i cannot change what i cannot change .

good job .

sometimes , i try and i fail to find the right words to describe us . truth is , it is impossible to sum up all that we are in a sentence . i would if i could , but then again , to be able to would be to belittle the bond we share . what i do know for a fact , is that we are both a little complicated , a little fucked up in the head . too much insecure , too madly possessive that the whole thing cease to be functional altogether , too accusing , too egoistic , too fucking stubborn .

but we are perhaps tangled together at the right places .

on better days , i think we make a cute couple . we say the right things , we laugh , we do stupid things together . you'll go shopping with me , all the while going on and on about how unhealthy my spending habits are . but you'll still willingly hold my bags for me , and that's what i love about you . we are the kind of couple who spends more time playing pool more than we do with movies . i still think he is really good at it , and for the only times i win , i'd attribute that to his wanting me to win to make me happy , without which i would have otherwise lost terribly . so yes , i think we make a great pair . it's just too bad that deep down , i know we are probably too much insecure to last for good . things could have been perfect . 

do you remember that first time we met ? it's uncanny , how far we've went from there . i was surprised that you are actually much taller in person . not that i've met you before , haha , but i'm just saying . i thought you were a little quiet to the point that you came off as a little cocky . but i would soon change my mind . you were just too shy around people you weren't close with while i on the other hand was a little too pushy with my enthusiastic hellos , almost like i was vying to win an award for 'Pimping a Friendship in 30 Seconds!' or something .

thinking back , it was funny , but what's even funnier would be that right now , i've never felt more disappointed with us . 

and then there was also that time in the taxi . fast forward two months , and we were already linking hands . do you remember how we had this talk about how lucky we are that we found each other ?  what if you never did came out that fateful Sunday ? i would never have met you , and possibly never will . you will remain to me as that ' Another Friend of X' on my msn list , and i as 'Another One of those Girls X Liked' on yours . we will never talk , never know each other , never be holding hands .      

the two of us make up one funny story , dont you think ?  maybe it is true that we are two very broken pieces of puzzle that are never meant to fit together . but we did . maybe not a perfect fit but i suppose it isnt half bad. we forced ourselves to fit anyway , and now we forced ourselves into heartbreak .  maybe you dont even care for much anymore . as i said , i wouldnt know . i have never been good at reading your mind . i thought that i was , thought that of all people , it is only me who can read you like an open book . but that was also coming from a girl who does not believe or care much for the importance of love , as long as the affection is still there . as long as we still have each other.  how was i so fucking stupid , i wonder . how can it be that time and time again , you can deceive yourself into thinking that you know someone best , know them inside and out ,  know them right down to the core , when in truth ...maybe you actually dont really know them at all ?

and crazily enough , i am beginning to feel that i would rather be stuck in this state than to ever leave . but what i feel is not important , no , of course it isnt . i promised you we would last for as long as you wish , remember? what is important , though , would be what i am capable of doing to myself , to us . watch me .

-

♥ #13

if as far as the story went it was all truth , then i can only be extremely thankful to such a kind stranger for erasing such malice about me when i am wondering who is it among my friends who would do such a thing and put it up there in the first place .

i guess you really dont know who your friends and foes are anymore .

i guess you really can no longer tell them apart .

but im really, really grateful that there are such nice people out there . they dont owe you a thing, remember this , and they can so willingly extend a helping hand ? truly kind souls ♥

♥ #12 thank you god

for i think

i have finally mastered the

true art of purging .

♥ #11 ahhhhhhhhh .

♥ supreme team is so cute!

i like them (:

-------------------------

i just dont feel it anymore

the whole idea
was to write
and now i've lost it .

time is a scary thing . it eats away the little details until you turn into
someone you no
longer recognize .

"yet everybody just feels like they can relate
i guess words are a mothafucka
they can be great
or they can degrade
or even worse they can teach hate "

♫ Sing for the moment, Eminem

I have very

stupid and childish people around me . I don't mean to be mean but there's only so much shit you can take .

grow the fuck up , boys . throwing paper airplanes around at 16 just for the heck of it ? really ?

why can't people see

that there are always limits to jokes . when it's time to stop , you stop . when it's time for others to talk , you shut up .

it's out of very , very basic decency .

and exactly how hard is that ? learn to respect people because you will grow up . you cannot live behind the shadows of your father forever and expect to command the same kind of respect when you don't know how to grow the fuck up .

certain things just make me frustrated to no end sometimes . modesty is a priceless trait , while money is just money . it is nothing . why don't you see ?

♥ #9 pursuit of happiness

so tell me

what am I doing this for again ? school , school, school .

this may sound childish and ungrateful and naive

but all I ever want is to be happy . well, haha, the ironic thing is don't we all ?

I don't need alot of money to be happy . I don't need alot of clothes to be happy . I don't need to be very pretty to be happy . I don't need to be approved by everyone all the time to be happy .

but what I do need is a lot , a lot of love and a lot, a lot, a lot of sincerity .


what is happiness to you , I wonder ?

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

♥ #10 tireddd UGH

first time working . and today was my second day at sushi king . i would like to say more , but honestly im too tired to be spewing out details now , except that i've met ALL sorts of funny characters . -_-

there are really nice people though . too bad they are heavily outnumbered by people who arent .

honestly , look into my face . do i look like i need the job ? i am here more of as a favor to a friend than for the money . 300 bucks for three days ? you might think it's decent , but 300 bucks for 30 hours of ALMOST CONTINUOUS pouring tea , cleaning dirty tables , serving people ? i'd rather GIVE you 300 bucks to NOT make me do that . i just dont understand why arent people...nice to others . i'm always courteous and pleasant to waiters . here's a piece of my mind - if you are so arrogant because you think you are so fucking rich to a point that you think you are in a position to snub people , dont be eating in cheap, mediocre place like sushi king then , period .

it really is as simple as that because whatever it is that you might think does segregates us (and IF that something is not stupidity wtf) , it should not exist because we all live under the same blue sky anyway WTF .

this sounds corny but it is true . you dont see me judging you for being ugly WTFWTF .

and so you see , i really tried sucking up my pride and be...sweet . for the very simple reason that i am paid to do what i am paid to do , and it is only out of decency to keep my end of the deal . it's not about the money , no , it really isnt . in fact , i think if someone pissed me off enough , i would not hesitate to just walk out . but i am trying my best to keep cool , for one of the only reasons my mom agreed to this was so that i know how it's like to 'sau other people's hei' WTF . T___T' yes mom , you win . if this is how the real working world is , then i better learn how to tone down my temper and ego . i can be arrogant sometimes , very arrogant in fact , and i realize that my only consolation , which was that i know i am right in that matter , is not that much of a consolation afterall .

everyone thinks they are right .

you will think you are wrong meh ? i wont wan loh hahahahaha .

anyway , as my father said , he's literally CHIPPING IN MONEY for me to 'go play play ' WTF . he's right . my expenditure on everything in a day also almost , if not , exceed my pay . -___- as the chinese saying goes , 'zhou lei mai fa tai' WTF . work so hard to buy wear flowers? wtf . T___T

but really good life lesson lah i swear . i've never poured so much tea , peeled so much eggshells , served so many people , TOLERATE SO MUCH 'ATTITUDE' , and most importantly , i've never felt more thankful with the comfortable life i have . look , look , i am not bragging , dont take me the wrong way . i do not have much , but i do have enough , and is that not a reason to feel blessed ?

we always take what we have for granted .

especially things that are GIVEN to us from birth . security , food on the table , money , education and er...more money wtf .

i do not come from a rich family , but i've never once lacked when it came to love . in fact , there are times when i feel almost suffocated from....my parents' overwhelming need to protect me that it makes me so so angry at times . but if it isnt for them , i wouldn't be who i am today . i wouldnt have all the guts in the world to talk back to people when i know im right , i would never have dared command respect so boldly from people who think they can bully me and get away scot free . i am so fearless that at times , it scares me . people who dont know me call me rude . i think it's just a refreshing side to a girl that not many of you have witness before . either way , you can say whatever you want about me . but one thing i can NEVER tolerate is when others speak of my parents in a negative light . that's the only reason i will diu kau 7 a person to tahap maksimas , and i swear i never , ever walk away from the argument losing WTF .

anyway , it's late now and i need sleep . i shall not digress . one more day to sushi king . im gonna do my best to tolerate . i think that is the most challenging of all , and not the pain i get from ferrying the ultra heavy kettles from one end of the restaurant to the other , refilling almost NON STOP until my wrists hurt like $@^%@ .

money really does not drop from the sky wtf, the saying is true .

but thank god he sent me a banker in the form of a father wtf nature's gift to me wtf hallelujahhhh T___T .

good night! x .

♥ #9 eminem is genius

we dont really know how it feels like , do we?

now , now

there are things i do not understand

but there are also things that i try to .

i always joke that im a princess , but that is as far as the joke goes . i am sheltered and pampered , yes i'd give you that , but i also believe that there are certain things beyond your understanding simply because you have what i dont , and then there are also certain areas in which i lack in .


i dont blame you . do you blame me ?


life comes to a full circle , remember that

i am not perfect but i am good to go . maybe? maybe not? i dont know .

i cannot explain how i feel sometimes

because when i relate life to all that i have , people call me an ungrateful bitch .

and then again , i dont actually have alot . so it's funny sometimes . ha ha ha ha ha .

so how else do i do it ?

if you get what i mean .



--------------

Rock Bottom

This song is dedicated to all the happy people
All the happy people who have real nice lives
And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as fuck

I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net
I'm popping percocets, I'm a nervous wreck
I deserve respect; but I work a sweat for this worthless check
Bout to burst this tech, at somebody to reverse this debt

Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged
Full of venom and rage
Especially when I'm engaged
And my daughter's down to her last diaper
That's got my ass hyper
I pray that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer


Watching ballers while they flossing in their pathfinders
These overnight stars becoming autograph signers
We all long to blow up and leave the past behind us
Along with the small fry's and average half pinters
While player haters turn bitch like they have vaginas
Cause we see them dollar signs and let the cash blind us
Money will brainwash you and leave your ass mindless
Snakes slither in the grass spineless


That's Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
That's Rock Bottom
When you want something bad enough to steal
That's Rock Bottom
When you feel you have had it up to here
Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear


My life is full of empty promises
And broken dreams
I'm hoping things will look up
But there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished
Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished

And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay
And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day
But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play
Cause when we die we know were all going the same way
It's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan
When all you need is bucks to be the man
Plus a luxury sedan
Too comfortable and roomy in a six
They threw me in the mix
With all these gloomy lunatics
Walk around depressed
And smoke a pound of ses a day
And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today


My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play
Live half my life and throw the rest away

There's people that love me and people that hate me
But it's the evil that made me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady
I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame
That means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames
That means I'm stealing your checkbook and forging your name
Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain
Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom
I got problems now everybody on my blocks got 'em

I'm screaming like those two cops when 2pac shot 'em
Holding two glocks, I hope your doors got new locks on 'em
My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or sock's on 'em
And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em
And while you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to pawn them
I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em?
Cause I never went gold of one song
I'm running up on someone's lawns with guns drawn

i adore eminem !

♥ #8 god is a salesman

which is why I am not buying his bulshit.


don't get me wrong


I am not saying that god does not exist


all I'm saying is that even if it does, does it matter ? it's not for us to find out anyway.

if god is one and one is god, why are there so many religions ?

i don't understand ?

so what now , I wake up one day and lucky draw a religion ?


and if I'm really really lucky , i follow the right god home ?


hahahahahahhahaha .

religion is a hype .

do you really think

a name makes ALL

the difference ?


just be a nice person . god WILL take care of you , dont you see ?


___

♥ #7 whiny bitches they irk me .

seriously , stop it . especially if you're a guy .

you think you're gonna get anything done by whining and whining and whining like a little bitch ? look , im so tired of this . i cant help you . i cant fucking offer you love because i pity you . i really hate it when a guy whines so much to me . how unattractive .

no , really , stop it .

it's annoying , it's manipulative and most of all , it's weak . first you're gonna tell me your sorrowful stories . and then what's next ? hint that you need love ? that you need me ? that im your fucking resurrection ? wake up boy . it's about time you get used to not getting everything you want . stop blaming others for all that you're not . you want something? work for it or die trying .

there's nothing more of a turn off than a guy who throws the blame of his weakness to his parents . like seriously , you're telling me that you blame your parents for all that they offer you (or rather , the lack thereof ) ? there's nothing more shameful than an unfilial, DEMANDING child . get a grip . 'oh im human too ' is not even a valid excuse . nothing except for food , shelter and education is a 'birthright' , whetever the hell you have always perceived the word to mean .

and so my point is still this - guys , STOP WHINING . if you dont get what you want , it's either you dont try hard enough or well , sorry , boooo too fucking bad , better luck next life . how long more do you want to be spoon fed? if you cant take care of yourself , do not talk to me like you are my god-sent savior and we should totally jump in bed because you are my other half who can take care of ME, because as i've reinforced time and time again , i dont need no one to take care of me . you think im the baby ? go babysit yourself , bitch .

and people still wonder why i am single . i cannot place my frustration sometimes .

-----------------------------------------------------------

hahahaha anyway , on a brighter note , went our for yamcha and pool with jay today . i can finally playyyy! decent or not , i shall not comment WTF but i won jay twice lo!.

although i suspect he's just a nice guy being...well , nice . WTF FONG SUI KAU KAU . hahahahaha damn give face lo eventhough i perangai princess keep cursing he'll go to hell for offending cute girl (read: ME WTFWTF HAHAHAHAHAHA) and then in the end when he didnt layan me, i ignored him.................. and HE APOLOGIZED HAHAHAHAHAHAHA . i like people like him alot lohhh WTF DAMN LAYAN *hint hint* .

anyway it was a good day.

got to meet Jay 2 HAHA . i didnt get to see if he cock stared Jay 1 lol .

here's a picture of me doing what i do best , or what Jay 1 always say is 'my job' WTF - acting cute hahahahahahaha .

please dont flame me okay , no hateful feelings going on please! im just being honest about it . i've always said 'im not cute , i just ACT cute,' and you should at least give me props for being so blunt and honest .

and humble HAHAHAHA .

well yeah . i act cute . and i admit it .

i think it's a fascinating skill . i manipulate people and still it's not a direct influence , you know ? you can't blame me . and still it works like a charm all the time . sometimes i just love being a girl . i can get away with anything , you get me? hahahahah .

it's not being cunning if that's who you are right?

anyway if you dont like my ideas you can leave .

if you like it , well , that sounds really wrong . anyway , here you go (:




it's huge and i like it . hahahahahahahahah .

and there's also one more set .



i think this looks friendly . im not usually like this .

interestinggggggggggggggggggg .

anyway i think i'll go check my eyes sometime soon . i cant see . im really getting blind and what scares me most is that i am only extra blind at night , so im guessing it cant be an increase of power ?

i dont know man .

maybe it's night blindness fml . shit . i want to drive at night next time !

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

♥ #6 HAHAHA

guess what ?

i felt something ticklish on my legs

and thought there's ghosts following me wtfwtf

until i realized

it's because i havent waxed in two months? WTF .

im so random but HAHHAAH FUNNY WHAT .

♥ #5 i am whatever you say i am

♥ goodnight world .

i cant breathe .

but it's time to man up to my mistakes and make a change before it's too late . nobody said it's gonna be easy , but certain things are just worth fighting for . i made a wrong move - i'll have to admit that- and now this is my only hope , the last step left that promises to open up a whole new game .

all i need is a chance and a lot , alot of strength to walk away . if i can pick it up , i can put it down .

i love you , but i can no longer let you control me .

i just cant keep living this way .

♥ #4

im just so frustrated right now .

words are just words . it never goes beyond that , dont you see?

i know people always say it is the thought that counts but seriously ...it is the actions that justify the depth and intensity of the thought . you say you mean something? prove it .

at least that is how things are to me . empty words and empty hope sums up to the same .

talk is cheap .


----------------------------

" And I know that if I end this,
I'll no longer have nothing left
But you keep treatin' me like a staircase
It's time to fuckin' step
And I won't be comin' back,
So don't hold your fuckin' breath
You know what you've done,
No need to go in-depth
I told you'd be sorry if I fuckin' left
I'd laugh while you wept
How's it feel now?
Yeah, funny ain't it?
You neglected me "

♫ 25 To Life, Eminem

♥ #3 the first picture here

because something always starts from somewhere . (:

and i like the picture . say hi to chia hoong , my long time friend who has changed so much since the last i saw of him back in form 3??

i will never forget our late night talks . he has taught me so much about guys and life . (:

♥ #2

how can you be smart

when it comes to love ?

sometimes

the question is can you

really choose

who to forgive?

♥ #1 the beginning

again .

for a very long time , i thought that i was ready to give up blogging altogether , that maybe i could finally let go . all i wanted to be was nothing, to blend in and disappear , and not stick out like a sore thumb . i love writing ; always has and always will , and so i guess it was a pity that for a period in time , i lost all will and strength to write , simply because it was my own words that made me depressed .

and so i walked away from it all .

i stopped listening to songs that made me sad , stopped talking altogether to people who had the heart to break mine , stopped looking at things that made me unhappy. and then i withdrew deeper and deeper into my shell , until one day i could no longer contain anything more and just decided to drop blogging too . i was merely running away from the things that hurt me . but then now it's different . i want to be a braver person . i want to write , i want to take control of me . i kept pushing the idea of blogging to the back of my head every time it surfaced , citing excuses that i myself knew was not true , simply because i was not brave enough to man up to myself . when i sat down and really thought of a name , it came to me instantly .

im slowly picking up the pieces from where i left . :)