Sunday, September 18, 2011
Trials.
Begins tomorrow.
Had lunch with Daddy today , and we sorta talked. I know everything he says is right so why is it so hard for me to not feel tired , to want to do something for myself , to change my outlook from negative to positive?
I have the opportunity but not the will , many people have the will but not the opportunity.
I dont think I deserve this. Goodnight.
Had lunch with Daddy today , and we sorta talked. I know everything he says is right so why is it so hard for me to not feel tired , to want to do something for myself , to change my outlook from negative to positive?
I have the opportunity but not the will , many people have the will but not the opportunity.
I dont think I deserve this. Goodnight.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
1.50 AM
And here is an apple eating documentary from a cute girl .
Or a girl who is trying to act disgustingly cute.
Whichever it is , my vanity is your entertainment , right? I was just eating an apple , and tadaaa. I think I will take pictures of whatever extraordinary I do in front of the laptop *excuse to camwhore . :P
Or a girl who is trying to act disgustingly cute.
Whichever it is , my vanity is your entertainment , right? I was just eating an apple , and tadaaa. I think I will take pictures of whatever extraordinary I do in front of the laptop *excuse to camwhore . :P
Goodnight peeps!
♥
Makes Me So Angry
That people nowadays are so god damn stupid.
Do you seriously think that it is only women who suffer from eating disorders ? Do you seriously think it's only women who cut themselves? Don't stereotype. You think it's funny? It's not.
It's not a joke. Do you think it's fucking funny?
I personally see these as signs of calling out for help. We don't know their stories. Why must we judge? Why do people dismiss emotional pain for stupidity? You have a good life , well k then , good for you. But really , we don't even know half their story. We don't know how they feel. What prompts them too be this way. You say they are stupid , but I'd say you're just a dumbfuck for being so shallow minded. Stupid? You sure that's all to it? How easy it is to stupidly sweep the stupid pain and miseries of others under a stupid blanket you call stupidity.
You don't understand life. If you're one of those people , the only thing I can say is please grow up.
I'm not saying that these people suffering from disorders of any sort don't have a choice. But I'm pretty sure they must feel that way. So let me ask you this again - do you go up to someone poor and laugh at their poverty in their face? Well , it's the same thing isn't it. People who can't help being in the position they're in , and yet at the same time not too vulnerable that they cannot alter the course of their lives.
Instead of offering hurtful comments , ask yourself , what have you done to change and impact the lives of others for the better?
What have you done to correct their 'stupidity'? Have you ever done anything to help them?
I think it's horrible how insensitive a great lot of us are. You know why I get so pissed over little things like this? You might say it's just a small matter but to me , it's not. It reflects on how ignorant the society is these days. Everyone's twisted in one way or another. It's just not fair to point fingers at others and call their self harm actions stupid. Does it help anyone when you call them stupid? No. Do you think these people don't have people walking up to them , telling them they're stupid everyday? Of course they do. Then why do they still do it? Ask yourself.
And then again , you don't even understand. You can't even begin to understand . And God bless , you will never have to understand these sort of pain and agony. It's little things like this that makes my blood boil. People who can be empathetic but choose to put themselves on a pedestal just because they can.
Remember , we live under the same blue sky and when we die we're all going the same way. With or without pain , you're not too much different than them , afterall .
Do you seriously think that it is only women who suffer from eating disorders ? Do you seriously think it's only women who cut themselves? Don't stereotype. You think it's funny? It's not.
It's not a joke. Do you think it's fucking funny?
I personally see these as signs of calling out for help. We don't know their stories. Why must we judge? Why do people dismiss emotional pain for stupidity? You have a good life , well k then , good for you. But really , we don't even know half their story. We don't know how they feel. What prompts them too be this way. You say they are stupid , but I'd say you're just a dumbfuck for being so shallow minded. Stupid? You sure that's all to it? How easy it is to stupidly sweep the stupid pain and miseries of others under a stupid blanket you call stupidity.
You don't understand life. If you're one of those people , the only thing I can say is please grow up.
I'm not saying that these people suffering from disorders of any sort don't have a choice. But I'm pretty sure they must feel that way. So let me ask you this again - do you go up to someone poor and laugh at their poverty in their face? Well , it's the same thing isn't it. People who can't help being in the position they're in , and yet at the same time not too vulnerable that they cannot alter the course of their lives.
Instead of offering hurtful comments , ask yourself , what have you done to change and impact the lives of others for the better?
What have you done to correct their 'stupidity'? Have you ever done anything to help them?
I think it's horrible how insensitive a great lot of us are. You know why I get so pissed over little things like this? You might say it's just a small matter but to me , it's not. It reflects on how ignorant the society is these days. Everyone's twisted in one way or another. It's just not fair to point fingers at others and call their self harm actions stupid. Does it help anyone when you call them stupid? No. Do you think these people don't have people walking up to them , telling them they're stupid everyday? Of course they do. Then why do they still do it? Ask yourself.
And then again , you don't even understand. You can't even begin to understand . And God bless , you will never have to understand these sort of pain and agony. It's little things like this that makes my blood boil. People who can be empathetic but choose to put themselves on a pedestal just because they can.
Remember , we live under the same blue sky and when we die we're all going the same way. With or without pain , you're not too much different than them , afterall .
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It Reminds Me
Of those nights when I would stay awake just trying to write down how I feel. It didn't matter how long it took , I would wait and wait and wait until the words come. And maybe I would find some sleep eventually , when I feel satisfied .
And then I began reading more. I don't even know if by saying reading more , I am correct. Sounds alot like a contradiction to me because I've always been reading alot. Anyway , I don't think it matters too much. My point here is still , the more I read , the more I realize how lacking I am. It's not the way I write or the way I try to express myself all the time , it's the things I say. I lack a sense of humor. Lots of it. I lack sarcasm and irony. Lots of it. I lack this thing you call a writer's instinct. Too damn much I don't even know where or how to begin.
In short , I guess I can be summarized with just one word - incompetent .
Another word? Impatient .
One more , I'd give you that - Pessimistic .
Because every story I write , I make my characters sad and twisted in one way or another. Always victims , never the one to be strong. Or maybe the strong ones end up dying. I dont know. I think this reflects on the type of person I am - the way I think , I mean. I am as weak a person as the fictional characters I put down on paper , subconsciously.
And then I began reading more. I don't even know if by saying reading more , I am correct. Sounds alot like a contradiction to me because I've always been reading alot. Anyway , I don't think it matters too much. My point here is still , the more I read , the more I realize how lacking I am. It's not the way I write or the way I try to express myself all the time , it's the things I say. I lack a sense of humor. Lots of it. I lack sarcasm and irony. Lots of it. I lack this thing you call a writer's instinct. Too damn much I don't even know where or how to begin.
In short , I guess I can be summarized with just one word - incompetent .
Another word? Impatient .
One more , I'd give you that - Pessimistic .
Because every story I write , I make my characters sad and twisted in one way or another. Always victims , never the one to be strong. Or maybe the strong ones end up dying. I dont know. I think this reflects on the type of person I am - the way I think , I mean. I am as weak a person as the fictional characters I put down on paper , subconsciously.
My Many Faces
And so this is what you do one in the morning , when you don't feel like revising or doing any reading , for that matter. And only if you are a girl .
Well , I hope.
There you have it. Many , many faces from a bored girl with ten minutes to spare since nobody was replying her on Skype. Messy hair. A picture of me smiling with my teeth showing , even. Not very pretty , no good. I hate smiling with my teeth and I'll have to remind myself that the next time I take photos.
And I'm hurriedly posting these up since someone wants to see it. Hahahahah no school for me tomorrow. And the day after. So ciaoz. :P
Well , I hope.
There you have it. Many , many faces from a bored girl with ten minutes to spare since nobody was replying her on Skype. Messy hair. A picture of me smiling with my teeth showing , even. Not very pretty , no good. I hate smiling with my teeth and I'll have to remind myself that the next time I take photos.
And I'm hurriedly posting these up since someone wants to see it. Hahahahah no school for me tomorrow. And the day after. So ciaoz. :P
Revision
Can suck my imaginary dick.
I think I've really became one of those people who have lost their direction in life. I'm really praying it's just a teenage phase I'm going through and not some permanent damage of sorts. But then we never know so we'll have to wait and see if I ever get out of this phase.
These two pictures were taken just a few days ago in a friend's new car.
I think it's pretty funny how everything happened as I said! Scary! I was just jokingly saying , 'You know what? I bet you'll get into an accident within 6 months , considering the way you drive.'
He got into an accident a few hours later. I swear I was joking.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it's not actually funny to most people but you must understand , the bunch like us find things like this to be funny. Nothing to laugh about? You are just stupid and we're just twisted like that.
I think I've really became one of those people who have lost their direction in life. I'm really praying it's just a teenage phase I'm going through and not some permanent damage of sorts. But then we never know so we'll have to wait and see if I ever get out of this phase.
I am usually not so chirpy in real life , if you get what I mean. I'm that boring girl who sits at a corner in a cafe and put my earphones on , read a book or something. Definitely not the kind to bother you with stupid faces.
These two pictures were taken just a few days ago in a friend's new car.
I think it's pretty funny how everything happened as I said! Scary! I was just jokingly saying , 'You know what? I bet you'll get into an accident within 6 months , considering the way you drive.'
He got into an accident a few hours later. I swear I was joking.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it's not actually funny to most people but you must understand , the bunch like us find things like this to be funny. Nothing to laugh about? You are just stupid and we're just twisted like that.
And this is how I look like 80% of the time , truth be told. People don't believe me when I tell them this is my default face , and that I actually have nothing against them , contrary to their impression that they must've done something to piss me off. I must then smile to convince them that really , I am not angry , this is how I look like all the time. I put on this face when I'm in class , when I'm forced to learn what does not interest me , when I need a drag but can't , when I'm sleepy (which I am almost all the time) , when I don't have enough money and the list goes on. You get where I'm coming from. It's either I am never angry or I am angry all the time.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
My 17th Birthday
in pictures.
All I can say is , thank you so much to everyone who came on Friday and Saturday. Wanted to do it at Ben's , but totally forgot that it was the fasting month and ended up having no alternatives but to celebrate at Caffeinees since everywhere at Pav were fully booked. So silly of me to have forgotten to make a reservation! ):
But all in all , it was a really great night. Thank you so much to Ron , Alison , Gi Po & Xue Wern for coming all the way just to surprise me before midnight. And also to Julian & Brandon who came after 12 just to wish me in person. You guys are so incredibly sweet!
And not forgetting the people who were there with me on Friday ; Heidi , Christian , Nick , Chee How , Jia Chun , Qi Zhi , Clinton, Hui Quan, Joe Yang, Ruhi, Brian , Hoe Thean $ his friend! One big hug to Qi Zhi and Ruhi because the two got me a cake. :)
With the very sweet Hui Quan! She's always so nice , so pleasant , almost never angry at anyone. Not even annoyed! Amazing how she does it. And thank you so much for the bracelet! It's lovely. (:
And this is Ron giving me a birthday kiss! I know I look a little red here. And that is also because we bumped into Daryl and Shaun there , and they came over with a birthday toast. I don't usually drink!
I'm not joking when I say I CANT and DONT drink. It was just ONE glass! Such a noob I am. Heheeee. (:
Okay , so that is all for my birthday dinner. (:
My birthday actually fell on Saturday and not Friday. I only did it on Friday for convenience sake , since that is the day I ditch school every week.
And I remember having asked , or more of pestered , everyone that night , 'OI TOMORROW WE GO DRINK LAI CHA OK? ' It's really important to claim the complimentary bucket sized milk tea from Wong Kok okay! Compulsary! :P
And so it was a great Saturday for me as well. Thanks , Yuen Teng , Brian , Yi Jing , Jin Yang , Qi Zhi , Ruhi , Ron , Chee How , Jia Chun , Jacqueline , Robetto , Chng Tyne & Ron's friend for being there. :P
Brian and I , at Ben's. Okay , so that third leg guy actually denied it was him when Yuen Teng passed the phone to him! He kept claiming to be Jen Yen an then Wai Sheng! You think I stupid arh!
But still , thank you so much for coming all the way from Sg. Long to find me k? :)
Thanks Jing for the extremely cute lipbalm ! I em seh dakk use la! It's this lip balm in a tin , and there's a panda printed on it with a speech bubble saying, 'hug me!' . Awwww!
I am using it right now to contain my earrings and necklaces and whatever it is that can fit inside. Thanks again guys! (:
You know it's not a good sign when Ron starts standing on the couch. That means his SUPERSTAR DIVA side is out and you can expect to hear him belt out anything from timeless classics to pop songs.
Just leave the Eminem and Lupe Fiasco to me , alright? :P
And that is Ron's friend on my right , who turned out to be a very good sport! I still can't remember his name (i'm so horrible with names , I know! ) and we actually enjoyed his company. He was a little shy at first but it was okay! (:
Paparazzi shots much? :P
Guess where! Caffeinees again because Bryan wanted to shisha!
Okay so that's all! I know I'm so outdated for only posting these up now. I guess I really should update this place more from time to time. I almost forgot what it's like to give so much attention on blogging , even if I wouldn't consider this serious writing. It feels good. So comforting to write a little , post pictures up , not with the intention of gaining readers. I'm doing this for myself.
All I can say is , thank you so much to everyone who came on Friday and Saturday. Wanted to do it at Ben's , but totally forgot that it was the fasting month and ended up having no alternatives but to celebrate at Caffeinees since everywhere at Pav were fully booked. So silly of me to have forgotten to make a reservation! ):
But all in all , it was a really great night. Thank you so much to Ron , Alison , Gi Po & Xue Wern for coming all the way just to surprise me before midnight. And also to Julian & Brandon who came after 12 just to wish me in person. You guys are so incredibly sweet!
And not forgetting the people who were there with me on Friday ; Heidi , Christian , Nick , Chee How , Jia Chun , Qi Zhi , Clinton, Hui Quan, Joe Yang, Ruhi, Brian , Hoe Thean $ his friend! One big hug to Qi Zhi and Ruhi because the two got me a cake. :)
With Suki , who will always be one of my most unforgettable seniors. (:
This is Christian! Someone whom I've been really close with for ages , and could only be glad to have him in my life. Eventhough we don't meet too much now , once brothers always brothers! :P
Happened to bump into some of them peeps from school!
With Aisha and Angela!
Hoe Thean , his friend (dont think I got his name HAHA it's alright. ) , Brian and I!
Fei Chai Brian whom I had dinner with just last night. (:
My lovely goat. We are both goats ! But inside jokes aside , dont you think we resemble each other a little? <3
With Ron! Always such a sweet guy , insisted that he held my hand first so he can be the first to wish me when the clock struck 12. Heheeheeee.
A complimentary birthday cake from Caffeinees , which I suspected must have been the work of Clarence! Thank you ah Little Boss . ((:
The Strawberry Cheesecake Ruhi and Qi Zhi got me. Yummy! Thank you for always being such considerate friends! They're the juniors I'm closest to in school. (:
Okeh my face LOLOLOL.
(:
Friends that stretched from wayyyy back.
I'm not joking when I say I CANT and DONT drink. It was just ONE glass! Such a noob I am. Heheeee. (:
The red me and King Juju , who is in UK already now. ):
Ron and Brandon!
Okay , so that is all for my birthday dinner. (:
My birthday actually fell on Saturday and not Friday. I only did it on Friday for convenience sake , since that is the day I ditch school every week.
And I remember having asked , or more of pestered , everyone that night , 'OI TOMORROW WE GO DRINK LAI CHA OK? ' It's really important to claim the complimentary bucket sized milk tea from Wong Kok okay! Compulsary! :P
And so it was a great Saturday for me as well. Thanks , Yuen Teng , Brian , Yi Jing , Jin Yang , Qi Zhi , Ruhi , Ron , Chee How , Jia Chun , Jacqueline , Robetto , Chng Tyne & Ron's friend for being there. :P
But still , thank you so much for coming all the way from Sg. Long to find me k? :)
My adjusting-bra-strap picture hahahaha just kidding ! It was a candid!
Yuen Teng's attempt at artistic photography lol .
Everyone doing their own thing!
And so this was the present from Yuen Teng , Vanessa , Bryan and Sabrina! It's a really adorable makeup / jewelry case! They must think I'm still five. :P
I am using it right now to contain my earrings and necklaces and whatever it is that can fit inside. Thanks again guys! (:
THE giant shot-glass lai cha! Ohm nomnom! Free :P
With NGAU NGAU Jing! :)
Just leave the Eminem and Lupe Fiasco to me , alright? :P
Paparazzi shots much? :P
Finally seventeen.
Love my wifey :P
Hamster face. (:
Guess where! Caffeinees again because Bryan wanted to shisha!
Okay so that's all! I know I'm so outdated for only posting these up now. I guess I really should update this place more from time to time. I almost forgot what it's like to give so much attention on blogging , even if I wouldn't consider this serious writing. It feels good. So comforting to write a little , post pictures up , not with the intention of gaining readers. I'm doing this for myself.
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