♥ #33

all i'm asking for , is to be kept informed . 

i'm just so sorely disappointed . if you dont want me to do a thing anymore , then at least have the decency to keep me informed . what am i , your disposable go-to girl ? call me a bitch , but this is my blog , why do i care ? i'm not annoyed because you decided to drop me . i'm offended that you'll make the effort to blatantly lie in my face with excuses ?

all you had to do is come tell me you no longer need me for the job because you found someone better . full stop . i wont be angry . but now i am , because such irresponsibility irks me . and the saddest part ? we've been friends for years , and you only have regards for me when you need help to do your shit ? all i'm asking for here is a little bit of respect . sometimes , it seems like no matter how hard i try , my best is not good enough for you smart asses . have i became so easily available to everyone that you no longer care for all that i'm doing and have done for the club and the school and all? i'm not angry because you decided to drop me . i'm angry because you decided to drop me without a notice , and i actually had to come after your irresponsible asses to clarify the state of things .

sometimes , all i want is to feel appreciated . i dont even need anyone to say thank you . at least stop treating me like garbage . just so you know , nobody has to do anything for you if you're not paying me shit . and there's this other bitch who goes around saying she doesnt think i'm good enough for this . okay , if you have such sentiments , TELL ME. no , seriously , i mean it . you come and tell me just that and i'd understand . i'll be pleasant about it . not tell me in my face a different story . what i absolutely cannot take in my stride is being lied to . i hate being lied to .  but then again , who the fuck are you to say that ? hahahahah look at yourself , look at me , and look at yourself again .

let's be real lahh sayang . who do you think you are to judge what i can or cannot do ?

i'm in the student council , i am a school debater , i'm smart enough a girl with a big chest and a small waist . and though not everyone thinks i'm pretty , i have more than enough of them who do . what have you got ? and you're saying i am not good enough for this ? going around talking shit about other girls being not pretty or tall enough or beautiful (as you ah ? HAHAHAHHA) ? ironic . everyone has their own plus points , you just got to stop dragging people down with your remarks . because seriously , keep that up and no men would EVER want to touch you in bed , let alone buy you one and sleep next to you . 

i'm actually really nice to people who are civil to me so if you're unhappy , come and tell me just that , but for now , yes , thank you , fuck you right back . (:

i'm only sorry that i HAVE to come off as arrogant to prove my point . i actually try to restrain myself from passing comments like this because i believe i'm more matured than that , but if you have the audacity to be ripping off my face , then you leave me with no choice . i'm done being nice . just so utterly disappointed with people entrusted to organize events when they cannot even be professional about something as small as this .

go ahead , tell me i'm wrong for being angry . i know your pattern . you do something to upset others , and when others feel angry , it's their fault for being a bitch . yeah , call me a bitch for feeling upset . i promise , the next time i'll ask your permission if i can feel upset before i actually do , okay ?  i'm done helping anyone besides myself . i'm just so terribly appalled over this . everything i do for the school just seem like a waste of time to me now . heck , this is my last year , and i think i've never felt so much contempt for the school and their people 'streaming' ideologies before .

have i wasted 10 years in this place that offers me an schooling , but not an education ?

p/s: i doubt anyone will be reading this , but in any case if this goes around , here's something i'd like to say in the most peaceful of manner . i am angry , yes , and i believe rightfully so , but i am not looking for a fight . if you have the least bit of respect for yourself , shut up and pretend you've never seen this , because who am i kidding ? the day you'd come and apologize for this is the day the pigs can fly . and just to clear things , i have no hateful feelings for anyone . i'm upset in myself . i dont see how is this 'misunderstanding' my fault, but i suppose it is because well , it cant be your fault when you have 312908 people conspiring against you , right ? i wouldnt know , but all all i know is i've never felt so upset in a long while . and if you have no business in this , please dont terasa , because many of you are actually really , really nice people , and i appreciate you for that . i'd like to also take this opportunity to thank some of you who have always stood by my side , (especially you , B . you are the only one in form five i have respect left for when it comes to leadership qualities) letting me know the going on of things . these people who truly regard me as a friend and is responsible enough to offer me the truth , which is anyday easier than cooking up excuses .

how the fuck can someone so fickle be up there , and you dont have to answer this . good night .

x .