sometimes , i try and i fail to find the right words to describe us . truth is , it is impossible to sum up
all that we are in a sentence . i would if i could , but then again , to be able to would be to belittle the bond we share . what i do know for a fact , is that we are both a little complicated , a little fucked up in the head . too much insecure , too madly possessive that the whole thing cease to be functional altogether , too accusing , too egoistic , too fucking stubborn .
but we
are perhaps tangled together at the right places .
on better days , i think we make a cute couple . we say the right things , we laugh , we do stupid things together . you'll go shopping with me , all the while going on and on about how unhealthy my spending habits are . but you'll still willingly hold my bags for me , and that's what i love about you . we are the kind of couple who spends more time playing pool more than we do with movies . i still think he is really good at it , and for the only times i win , i'd attribute that to his wanting me to win to make me happy , without which i would have otherwise lost terribly . so yes , i think we make a great pair . it's just too bad that deep down , i know we are probably too much insecure to last for good . things
could have been perfect .
do you remember that first time we met ? it's uncanny , how far we've went from there . i was surprised that you are actually much taller in person . not that i've met you before , haha , but i'm just saying . i thought you were a little quiet to the point that you came off as a little cocky . but i would soon change my mind . you were just too shy around people you weren't close with while i on the other hand was a little too pushy with my enthusiastic hellos , almost like i was vying to win an award for 'Pimping a Friendship in 30 Seconds!' or something .
thinking back , it was funny , but what's even funnier would be that right now , i've never felt more disappointed with us .
and then there was also that time in the taxi . fast forward two months , and we were already linking hands . do you remember how we had this talk about how lucky we are that we found each other ? what if you never did came out that fateful Sunday ? i would never have met you , and possibly never will . you will remain to me as that
' Another Friend of X' on my msn list , and i as
'Another One of those Girls X Liked' on yours . we will never talk , never know each other , never be holding hands .
the two of us make up one funny story , dont you think ? maybe it is true that we are two very broken pieces of puzzle that are never meant to fit together . but we did . maybe not a perfect fit but i suppose it isnt half bad. we forced ourselves to fit anyway , and now we forced ourselves into heartbreak . maybe you dont even care for much anymore . as i said , i wouldnt know . i have never been good at reading your mind . i thought that i was , thought that of all people , it is only
me who can read you like an open book . but that was also coming from a girl who does not believe or care much for the importance of love , as long as the affection is still there . as long as we still have each other.
how was i so fucking stupid , i wonder . how can it be that time and time again , you can deceive yourself into thinking that you know someone best , know them inside and out , know them right down to the core , when in truth ...maybe you actually dont really know them
at all ?
and crazily enough , i am beginning to feel that i would rather be stuck in this state than to ever leave . but what
i feel is not important , no , of course it isnt . i promised you we would last for as long as
you wish , remember? what is important , though , would be what i am capable of doing to myself , to us . watch me .
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