my new hair!

 

I'm back to having curls! 

I really cannot manage straight hair. It gets on my nerves how split my hair ends are and no amount of conditioner seems to be able to fix my problem. I have slightly curly fringe by nature and no words can describe how much I absolutely hate it. I am glad that there's no need for intense blow drying anymore and it's now curly and looks okay even without much hassle! :)

*flips hair in your face 

goodnight! x

Everything you do

kinda annoys me these days.
It's not cute anymore.

I don't know if i like you. Well , I think I do.
But I am always thinking of what
you can't do for me.

And senses would tell me that this is just stupid. Maybe it's true that I need to get rid of my dogmatic ego , the one that whispers beside my ear that I am too good. The one that tells me that this is nothing but a waste of time , a game that leads us nowhere , the kind that can only end worse than it started.

If you tell me to place ego aside , I cannot do it.

We are both very different people with vastly different values. I am too assertive for my own good , the kind of girl who must have things her way. We can never seem to see eye to eye over anything. You cannot put yourself in my shoes and I am unwilling to look at things from your point of view. I just don't get it. In fact , I find myself disgusted by the way you think. It's almost disturbing - if that's the word- how easy you had it in life. There's just too much you have yet to see and learn. I really am too old for all these nonsense.

When it comes to boys , I never seem to find the right one. There's always this initial spark that dies out as quickly as it appeared. It's really so crucial , the things that comes out of a person's mouth. At 17 , I dare say I've met all sorts of male , boy and men alike.

Just not my luck , I guess. :)

Is it worth it?
Can we please work it out?

I've always been a greedy person and I've never made attempts to hide it. I want everything nice , everything fancy that catches my eyes and I almost never take no for an answer. Funny would be how uncommitted and undeserving I am of the things I want . You cannot have the cake and eat it too. I guess I was never serious enough.

SGMUN Day 1

Actually , I wouldn't even be here blogging if it wasn't for the fact that I'm still in the midst of uploading all the pictures from today to Facebook. It was a really , really long day and I'm very exhausted - I say this alot , i know - but I really wanna get the pictures up tonight or I'll never.

Overall , I'm very disappointed with this year's conference. Firstly , most delegates were not punctual. We were supposed to gather at 8 , and there were still many walking in way past ten. We couldn't do any lobbying since most weren't even present yet so yeah , that was 2 hours down the drain. I'm particularly disappointed with this 'im-too-great-to-be-punctual' attitude a lot of people have nowadays. It's just not nice to keep people waiting on you because come on , who do you think you are? I can understand if you're slightly late but two hours? Now that's definitely not a delay 'because of the jam'. It's a 'I can't wake up' scenario and I'm sorry but these people have no regards for others. You are attending a conference , not a Chinese wedding. If you can't even be on time , I believe that just defeats the whole purpose of joining this mock UN event because what exactly as a delegate do you learn?   

And then secondly , as if things couldn't get any worse , the two committees had to be merged into one due to the extremely poor attendance. Now, I cannot recall attending a poorer planned MUN before. A year or two back , everyone was eager to contribute to the resolutions. Everyone was punctual and most turned up. Let's just say the enthusiasm to debate was there. Some even came earlier to discuss on the resolutions they were working on before sending it to the chair. That's supposed to be the spirit but there we were , debating on resolutions that, at any one time, half the hall had no idea about. I don't know about the others but I was extremely disinterested.

Anyway , here are some pictures. :)

 

accidental shot which turned out cool HAHA

 
Guess who I had dinner with ! The stupid little boy hahahhaha . :P

 

Anyway goodnight. It's 1.30 and I've been up and about since 7 yesterday. I'm really gonna collapse tomorrow fml. 

I'm really hoping tomorrow will be a better day though. 

<3

And there's alot I've been thinking about these couple of days. I'm back to questioning my previous set of beliefs , but when haven't I? It seems that there really is no one you can trust. I don't want to come off as offensive , but really, quarrels over anything material is stupid. But perhaps I'm the only one who think so because apparently , everything IS about the money , isn't it?

What pisses me off is the attitude , not the money. I may not have alot of it , but I know what generosity and selflessness are. And if the implication of being generous would be that people start taking advantage of your kindness , then I'd rather be one of you.

In any case, I know I won't be the first to be selfish then .

The moment you stop giving people just feel it. I NEVER owed you a thing from the start. A fucking birthright it is not.

Because I'm too tired

to write anything. I wanted to write a little at first but now all I could think of is my bed so I'll just post a few pictures up and call it a post.

I know I havent been updating too regularly. Not that many of you read this space anyway. My pc was spoiled and so yeah , i just couldnt be bothered. Came home last Saturday to find a new pc and wifi! Wifi! The joyyyy. :)

My current Twitter display.

Had Arab food last weekend. It was a weird day. I was planning to see Ruhi (the girl with me in the picture above) only and somehow , 7 others turned up. Erm , yeah. Hahahah all juniors. It was a good time though. :)

Me trying to look like the Olsen twins hahaha. 

Alright , goodnight lovelies! With all the pictures of outings I have in my laptop , I'm pretty damn outdated. I'll write a proper post soon , I promise. x.

♥ #59 julywish

It's July already.
My July wish is simple - for everything to go smoothly.

I shall start studying , I guess.

 

I know I am vain, but if I am not , then you won't even be here. 

There will be no blog for you to read. So don't complain. 

Off to do some writing. It's getting tougher and tougher these days. I'm trying really hard to piece everything together and hopefully it will all fall in place. Plans , I have a few but in time we shall see.

xx.

♥ #58 They come & go

Here are some pictures for tonight. I'll post up more tomorrow , I suppose.

Have been in school 2 days only for this week. And I'm skipping tomorrow as well but I guess I'll be attending lit class since that isn't too bad.

And so there is this person that is really getting on my nerves lately. How dare you open your mouth to slander others with no shame? If you've actually got something against me, present the facts or you are just making a fool out of yourself. I dont understand people who has got the cheeks to be so proud of the money that isn't even to their credit. If you're ugly , you're ugly. If you're unintelligent , you're unintelligent. If you're unfuckable , you're unfuckable. Money doesn't change anything. Period.

I have alot of respect for people I see eye to eye, even if our opinions differ. But I do not even see you as an equal so what makes you think your opinions matter to those who sees you no different than I do? If you are incompetent, please just save yourself the shame by keeping your mouth closed. Those who cannot do something should not disturb the man who is doing it. You are sucking up to the wrong people girl. This shows how uneducated you are , pun intended. :)

Ask yourself this. What makes you think you are even in the same league as me to offer your comment? I can skip school all year and my results will still be fucking amazing , to say the least. I might be rebellious, but don't forget who's the school debator. And also Student Council member. What have you got? An empty head , an ugly face , a small chest , big stomach and nothing more. Please grant yourself the honor by shutting up.   

As I said , ugly people have nothing to lose. Go on a diet before you talk to me. Maybe I'll give you more face if you're not actually so ugly and fat AND foul mouthed. You can say whatever you want to bring me down, but it aint working because God knows I am not lying when I called you dumb and unattractive as fuck.

♥ #57

And so I decided to take the plunge and unprivated my twitter account.

For how long , I dont know. But yes , there it is. Public for the whole world to see. Knowing my personality , I'll most probably private it back soon. I cannot stand having privy eyes around me. While I do enjoy making new friends , I've always been wary of the people around me. It's impossible , I know , but I am the type who tries to hold my life at a certain point at a certain place , and as for right now I wouldn't want add or take away anything.

Just random camwhore shots HAHA. 

 

Had Taiwanese for lunch yesterday. It was pretty goood.  ♥

Here are some pictures from a day out with the girls. Nothing much , except that I really have to rush to bed. My lack of sleep is really beginning to take a toll on my health.

Definitely more coming , so as for now it'll just be pictures , alright? :)

Alright , good night. I'm praying that tomorrow will be a better day , or I'm dead. I left my entire Moral folio in the gym. Great. The date due? A month ago. :)

 

Lately , I dont feel very intelligent. 

Like , there's nothing left to say or something. My mind is blank and even when I'm out doing the things I like , I dont feel happy. I just feel at peace , neutral , and that's that. But I'm not complaining. I've been through worse, and somehow not feeling happy isn't an issue to me anymore. So long as I'm not feeling miserable , all is fine. 

Everything that's happening around me isn't even worth disclosing. And then I question myself , what is then? Well , I dont know. I can't come up with something. Maybe I'll post some pictures later. Maybe I'll write a few lines to go with it too. I dont know. The people I'm close with are with me all the time and knows what's going on in my life. So what do I say to people who dont? There's nothing for them to know , actually. I can be very keep-to-myself sometimes. 

Anyway , I've officially been away from school for 3 weeks already LOL. It's funny how often I'm not in school this year. I just hate that place and I'll come up with any excuse at all to skip another day of school. And this week I'll only be attending like , 2 days. Beginning this year, I kinda never go to school on Fridays. It's not that I'm getting lazier. I really , really hate that place these days. The people , the environment , the everything. Everything feels like a routine. I'm sick of it.

And to be honest , speaking from my results , it's not like my attending is even important lol. Pretty surprised having scored 14/15 for my literature , considering the fact that I knew ZERO about the novel. Nothing at all. Not even the names of the characters , or what's happening because I never bothered during English classes. And I had a friend explain to me once before exams since I didnt even have the reference book and there you go. I just wrote and wrote and wrote as though I really know what's going on.

I know I totally screwed up my maths and accounting , but all will be well by SPM , i suppose. I think I did pretty alright for everything else. 58/60 for history essay. Damn it I was so close to scoring full! :/

Alright , off to edit some pictures and then maybe I'll post it up. And know what to write. 

Will you let others do the job for you?

Or are you a warrior who is not afraid to bloody your own hands?

Confused is the one who has no inkling on what to believe.

Confused is the one who has nothing up his sleeves , and yet feels obligated to impress.

Confused is the one who plays his cards cautiously .

Confused is the one with character so weak.

Confused is the one most vulnerable.

Confused is the one who will not stand up for himself.

Confused is the one who will not stand up for anything.

Confused is the one who trusts blindly.

Confused is the one who never trusts.

♥ #52 You and Me

Regrets , I have a few. 
But you cannot take back the words you never said.

♥ #51 Another one of these days

On Monday , I met up with Yuen Teng , Ysheng and Hassel for karaoke. It has been so long since I last saw Hassel! I swear this is a really small world and it's creepy just how closely knitted our circle actually is. I wont explain how I came to know Hassel because the whole thing is complicated and I couldn't be bothered , because my point here would be that as it turns out , Yuen Teng and her are really , really close friends! The both are from PESS :)  

And they're both really nice sweet girls !

Meet my friend Hassel! :D

I think it was pretty fun singing with girls! Every time any of us went off pitch , we just ended up laughing it off. And apparently , I'm a very good rapper to them. I guess this just means that I've totally made a fool out of myself in front of them HAHA.

Going karaoke with me would only mean me hogging the mic and rapping shamelessly to Eminem , so brace yourselves for ear bleed lol.

Told you they're cute!

I dont think I care if I look ugly in a photograph anymore because this is as far as the truth can stretch.

Yuen Teng is among the more prominent cheerleader from PESS , so boys , here's a very nice girl you all should be looking out for! Single and available , wink. ;)

 

And after 3 hours of singing , we decided to go to somewhere to chill for a bit before heading home. Hassel left earlier since she had a family dinner going on and so the three of us headed to this place outside BB Plaza for some shisha. It had definitely been a long , long while since I last shisha-ed.  

If you ask me , I'd say the place was like a roadside mamak. And so we were shocked to find out that the prices were all but ordinary. A can of coke for 5 bucks? Are you kidding me? Apparently they serve 'Egyptian food', but I'll never trust a place like that to be serving authentic Arabian food. 

I'm actually a big fan of middle eastern cuisine. If done properly , the meat often comes in succulent, chunky servings and I particularly love their Arabian sour cream dipping which has the consistency of our typical mayonnaise, except that it has a slightly sour kick to it. Speaking of which , I really need to grab some Arab food one of these days. 

You see the sign above? It's actually this Turkish ice cream stall at the place we were chilling and we've seen them before in Sungei Wang and Mid Valley (last time) and so Yuen Teng and I got extremely curious. We went to buy ourselves a cup each , only to be disappointed that there's nothing A La Turka about this ice cream. It's just ...ice cream. And slightly overpriced too , if you ask me.

Got to give credits to the Middle Eastern old uncle who was manning the stall though. He was this cheery middle aged man who was just so joyous and enthusiastic about his work that some tourists even stopped to have a picture with him! He was singing the whole way , while scooping us our ice creams , spitting Masya Allah over and over again into our cups. I like places like this where the people around are so lively that it creates such a happy ambiance. :)

RM 5 for this. I had strawberry with chocolate , whereas Yuen Teng opted for vanilla. I know many of you will most probably argue that gelatos and premium ice cream are about this price of even more , but you gotta understand. There's a difference between paying RM5 for a scoop of Gelatomio , and RM5 for a scoop of Walls ice cream. You get the picture now? 

Ysheng. 

So long since I met up with him. Too long. It's good to catchup.

Just another one of my bags.

 

I do think I look like a hamster here.

 

 
 
The many face of Soh Yuen Teng! She's just so, so adorable lah! Friendly and niceeee :)

 

 

And then we went back to Sungei Wang for a while since I wanted to get some cookies from Subway! Their cookies are really good , and cheap too I must say. Rm1.50 for each and they're reasonably sized. So I guess this makes me a happy , happy girl. :)

Go try their raisin oatmeal and double chocolate! Hehe might me too sweet for some of you but I have a sweet tooth so I like it alot. 

I'm just...fat. I have nothing else to say. Yuen Teng and I are of about the same height, but just comapare our body proportions. Time to diet again before this weight gain gets out of control. It's impossible not to be obsessed when I'm always feeling so thick and chunky all the time.

Alright , that's all for now. Actually , I went out today too for karaoke...again. I'll update really soon , like maybe tomorrow?

Goodnight! :)