Sometimes

I wonder what is the point of love , if it tears two hearts apart. Yes, that is exactly what it does. At the end of the day , you feel so tired of being played and cheated. I dont even know how to say this , but it hurts the most when you are , as cliche as this sounds , a victim of your circumstances.  When you know there is everything to lose , and yet you'd do anything in your capability to salvage things - except that the world doesnt actually work this way , and you are reduced to realizing that you are all but a fool who thinks the difference between triumph and defeat merely lies in the intention of the heart.


Truth is , in life there is always this one rock you cannot lift , hard as you try.

I'd admit I've never been truly sincere before when it comes to matters of the heart , never having truly put myself out there to to love someone as much as I am loved. You must understand , I am used to the idea of being adored. I like being in like , not in love. Everyone has emotional needs, and for some reasons I believe I am better off when others love me , and that I only like them. It feels a lot like having the upper hand , being in control. I guess you can say I am as selfish as can be, but why do I care? I know I can be plain in my thinking. But we already know that.

I thought I was being smart, thought that I was protecting myself , but I come to realize I was none the wiser. There are people out there who would die to love and to be loved , and here I am hugging my knees to my chest , resolute to keep harm out of my way.